Sunday, November 23, 2014

ryan buell is getting married.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm excited to announce that I am getting married this week at long last. I am proud that I am tying the knot here in State College, PA. And I am proud that we are living in an age of marriage equality. Now if only they'd legalize polygamy. And proton packs. 

IM SAD. LOL ;)

from ryan buell facebook fan page

upate on ryan buell. one of my fav paranormal guys

Personal Update: As we always knew, my time in Raleigh had come to an end. I wish I could say that it was the best two years of my life, but it also wasn't the worst. Life surprises you in many ways. I never thought I would find myself abandoned by my loved ones at a time when I needed them the most. Everything changed. And I didn't understand why. But something beautiful happened. My life was changed by the most unlikely and unusual circumstances. And had it not been for the circumstances that happened, I would never have met people like Brent Casteel, who without a doubt saved my life. He and I didn't really know each other. But he watched over me, and was always there, every day, making sure I stayed the course. My medical doctors, who were persistent with their treatment and determining the cause of certain problems. Robert Crook, who I can say has been someone I feel I don't deserve in my life. I never thought someone who would enter my life as a fan (actually an anti-fan, lol) would become one of my heroes. He has done so much for me I wouldn't be surprised if a judge officially appointed him as my official father/guardian (sorry, Robert, you're screwed). He kept on us, every day, through the worst and even the good, to remind us to stay the course. And his gut instinct was often right. And dear Carmen, you have cooked for us countless times and hell, even got us socks and rain gear whenever there was a change in weather. I know you hate me saying this, but I have never had so much positive reinforcement and encouragement before until I met you. I don't know why you pushed me every day, nor do I have any idea where you get the energy, but my life was always a little less dark whenever you called or stopped by. Then there's Potter Gracie Daniel and Holly Staples-Faust and Mercedes Mezzasalma and others who have dedicated a large chunk of their lives to keep the dream alive. Some stopped believing in that dream. Many rumors have been said, and I just have no desire to respond to any of them. I have actual stuff to do. But the three ladies I just mentioned have done something I needed in order to heal and begin to travel down the road I must now take. I needed someone, or some people, to carry out the mission and the to uphold the ideals that I started when I was 19. I was not always successful. But it has been an honor and a privilege to sit back while I heal and see them make improvements to a new infrastructure for a bold new PRS. A new PRS which is long overdue. Brent, I've only known you for five months buddy, but it feels like we've known each other forever. You carried me in when I was barely hanging on and I have never known such kindness to come from a stranger. I don't know what I would have done without you. Sergey Poberezhny, we've had the best of times and the worst of times. But dammit, you're starting to pull it off and we are proud of you for the work you are doing. For those of us who are paying attention, we see the change and how hard you are balancing so much. I wish I could do more, but you are learning to become a great leader. I hope you keep at it, because you are always meant to be a part of this adventure. Finally, to my friends, I have not been in immediate contact due to personal reasons. But I would like to reconnect. I am finally in a position where I am able to do so. But slowly. To my siblings Jordan Lundberg, Roman Nickolas Lundberg, Brindis Nicole Lundberg, I love you, and I do not want to put you in a position where you are in the middle whatsoever. But I think of you always. And I hope to arrange where perhaps I can see just you all for a day before Christmas so we can have some time together. It's too early to discuss the details of my personal situation, but for now, rest and healing is recommended. It's also giving me time to work on my books (speaking of, my first comic book comes out next week). I cannot guarantee that things will be the same. There are a few matters that have also changed my life. One is homophobia experienced within my own family, to the point where my partner's well being was put in jeopardy. I am hoping these members will think strongly on how their actions could have killed or harmed my partner, and I think that once the dust is settled and emotions are cleared, they should donate to the Trevor Project every year for the rest of their lives. It is for a good cause, and a small price to pay for what could have been a death sentence for a loved one. Misconceptions about personal health. Had I taken the path that was pushed upon me, I would not have discovered the proper treatment that was just uncovered weeks ago. Mistakes happen. I am no saint. Lord knows that. And you all know I don't air dirty laundry on, of all things, Facebook, but this is actually the best way to update you all and my fans. Please understand that any anger or sadness reflected in this post is my own and should not be taken up by anyone. I prefer family matters to remain private, unless I feel it will serve a greater purpose by sharing. There's a lot I would like to say to my family, but now is not the time, other than to say that I love you and I made it this far. No one thought I would. But I did. The journey isn't over. There are still swamps and caverns all along the path, and I am saddened every day to know that I must walk this alone without even the emotional support of those who once called me son. It has been without a doubt one of the hardest blows I have ever experienced. It has made me wonder why I should even get up. I must have done something to deserve cold abandonment. That's what I thought for many many weeks and months. Eventually, I had to just let go of you, so I can move on with my life. You were my strength and my inspiration. That will never change. But in order to heal, I must now move on and not look back. People will disagree with me, to tell me family ties and bonds always heal. Well, sometimes they do, and sadly, sometimes they don't. That's the fact of life. Will it? How can I say for certainty? But for the first time in six months, my dreams and aspirations are starting to come to, and despite the freakin god damn Pennsylvania cold, I feel a warmth inside. My regret is that as I rebuild myself, medically and physically and mentally, those I love the most will not be there for it. Most of them by choice. Why am I writing this? I was at a friends house and he started to tell me his story and I was surprised that he actually blogged about it, sharing some of the most intimate details. Some good, some bad, some not so flattering. But he was honest. I, unfortunately, have this watchful eye always hovering, and if I'm not careful, I could get something reprinted on CNN or TMZ. Am I really that relevant these days? lol. However, as hard as it was to write this, I would like to add this: I have a lot of anger. I want to tear a few people apart. And others for taking advantage of my disappearance to smear me publicly. But it's life. I found a few other things that are more important. Change your perspectives, my friends. In time I will come out and I will share, despite my doctors advising against it, because I believe the journey is more important the end or the start and where my story goes, no one knows, but I believe it's my purpose to share it with you. It's not always flattering when it comes to me. In fact, I'd say it's not at all. But then again, who likes flattery? You know you're doing something ballsy when people bitch about you nonstop. Truth. I have sadness. But I wrote this post as a beginning. And for those who have watched over me. You don't know them yet, but they saved my life over and over again. I don't mean that in a cliche way. They saved me. And they're still fighting to keep things going. We can't pick our family, and sometimes family does some weird shit (and this is coming from a paranormal investigator), but there's also a time when enough is enough and it's time to say our last goodbyes. This weekend, we will be retrieving the remainders of PRS and our belongings from Sumter, SC and Raleigh and our move to State College will be permanent. We actually found the perfect house! I never thought I'd make it this far. I really mean that. So Brent, Robert, Carmen, Gracie, Holly, Mercedes and Sergey, thank you. Your compassion has inspired me to get back on my feet. I'll do my best. And it's for you. And for all the fans who have stayed with yours truly through this difficult time, this is for you too. Love, RYAN

from ryan buell facebook fan page.