HEY WORLD
Sorry, it has been over a year since i written for this blog. Like anyone reads this shit but i like to believe this. well here it goes.
I will try to post once a month, Cant promise.
There have been big changes.
I no longer live in Lafayette. I live with my parents back in my childhood home. I'm starting all over again at 40 years old. Time to pay off some debt i have made. At least i don't have rent anymore. I can start over with my relationship with GOD.
I havent talked to my love-obsessed stalker or my ex-work husband in over a year. I no i made the right decision to cut them out of my life for good. I have seen D twice so far and avoided at all cost. I have been a better person.
I had a bad breakup with a guy i thought i was going marry. I was the backup plan until his ex-slut fiance sewed her slutting oats. in the process, she broke his heart. KARMA is a bitch. Now im single and loving it. ME TIME.
Some guys I c as temptation. It how you act when faced with it. I face it and turned away from it. Im proud of my self.
I can be gotten a car i loved. It broke down. I spend over 1800 to fix then it totally broke down. I had to suck it for 400 only bc it had new parts. Im stuck paying the credit card debt with no car to show for it.
My 1st love AXL ROSE AND GNR old band members are on tour. Never thought that would happen. Wish i could have seen them but no DAMN money.
Im happy to c Ryan Buell is clean and back in the paranormal world. He is getting to Ryan I no and once admired. It will take time for this, I wish hm luck.
I haven't started writing my books Dark Passions For Ever and Graveyard Shift Confessions. IDK y, Life have been getting in the way. Now no more excuses.
LESSON:
I have learned not to care anymore. If u dont want to be in my life. C U. PEACE. U nowhere the door is and u can use it.
PEACE LOVE AND ROCKETS: KRISTY BODIN BLOG
THIS IS A PLACE WHERE I CAN EXPRESSION MY IDEAS, FEELING, THROUGHTS, LIKES AND DISLIKES, RANTS, AND ETC.
Monday, October 30, 2017
Tuesday, October 4, 2016
PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW.
A guy named K has been my close friend
for over 10 years. How I meet him was a funny story. In the 2004 in ULL newspaper
K posted ad to meet some single women for friendship. I had lost a bet with one
of friends a call him. We meet somewhere on campus and talk. From what I remember
is a long talk. Over the last few years we meet up when we had time. In the
last few weeks he becomes love obsessed with me. It was my close friend in CA
that pointed this out to. K is over 40 yrs with high intelligent that dealing
with a bipolar who is still a virgin. I never saw him more than a friend. He
became clingier after the death of his father. He was also doing this another
woman. Who I become friends with bc of him. I have blocked him from my life. I
wish him the best and hope he finally happiness he seeks. But not from me. I thank
him for being there for me though some of darkest moments in life. But when he becomes
one of them. When I had say good bye,
One night either in 2003 or 2004
after a hard day at ULL and work I was chilling at my fav place Mels when I met.
I think meet him BC I sat down at the booth and he was sitting there already or
I was IDK. D and I started talking right away. We become fast friends. Over the
nx few yrs we become best friends. Something in our friendship change. IDK at 1st. In the last three yrs our friendship came
completely different. It was pointed it out to me. When I needed a job not once
twice D was there for me. Vice versus. IDk if I was the one who change or he did.
IDK really. I missed what we had. I feel
he treated me like shit and was cruel to me sometime. maybe i should have talk D about how i felt. But I didnt. IDK y.
I have change this summer when I gave my life to God. I’m not the same. We grow in different paths. We both change. Maybe I should have told this him this. I didn’t which are my bad. After sometime not talking to D I follow my Ex advise. It blows up in my face. Then I realize it was truly over. I have change and so has he. I wish D the best. I hope he fined the happiness, love, success, and peace he deserves. I wish him no ill will.
I have change this summer when I gave my life to God. I’m not the same. We grow in different paths. We both change. Maybe I should have told this him this. I didn’t which are my bad. After sometime not talking to D I follow my Ex advise. It blows up in my face. Then I realize it was truly over. I have change and so has he. I wish D the best. I hope he fined the happiness, love, success, and peace he deserves. I wish him no ill will.
Ppl change and grow apart. How we handle it that makes a difference? We face it head on. R pull like i ghost act like i did. That might have not been the right decision. at the time i thought is was. They both deserve me to tell them in person how i felt. I was told to do by some close friend. I figured it would be wasted of time and pointless. D told me THIS but I didnt want to hear it.
Right now two another close friendship are on thin ice. I hope to handle this better. Right now im praying on.
to D and K
IM SORRY HOW I HANDLE THIS SITUATION. I SHOULD HAVE TALK TO U AND NOT PULLED AN GHOST ACT. THANKS FOR BEING IN MY LIFE AND HAVING MY BACK WHEN I NEEDED YOU. YOU DESERVE ME TALK U IN PERSON THAT OUR FREINDSHIP CAME TO END AND WE ARE DIFFERENT PATHS. I WISH U GUYS THE BEST IN LIVE. MAY GOD BLESS U BOTH AND FAMILIES.
PEACE LOVE AND ROCKETS
Thursday, March 24, 2016
Seen My 2nd STALKER on the 1st day at a new job.
I
had my first day at JCPennys as a cashier. It was long day of training. During this
time I run in a my ex creepy stalker neighbor (call him DM)who watched me for
two years bc of my 1st stalker my ex live in boyfriend (call me M).
After I prove my ex bf was stalking me for six months and detailing on online.
I took legal action. Just before M was kicking out my apt by me that is when DM
moved into the apt on top across the yard.
DM
was creepy from the beginning. Since DM was the only guy living in my apt area
M and DM become friends. When M was kick out and after he was caught stalking
this is when I believe that M ask DM to keep eye on me and recorded that
details. This went on for two yrs until I moved out.
A
couple years later I try to move in same apt building. The person that was
living in old apt was legal problems was about to kick out. I signed a lease
for sex months. My old landlord tells me to stay away DM BC of certain thing. She
had discovered that DM has keep detail records on for me for 2yrs and the girls
living there at the time. I believe he did this to cover that he was doing for
M.
I
was anger that my old landlord tells me this after I signed the lease. She wasn’t
concerned about my safety after everything that happen with M. luckily the
person living in the apt with legal problems was able to pay the rent he owed.
He was a legal right to stay in the apt. Since they didn’t have any apt to rent
to me my lease was void.
These
happen 10 years ago. But it has shaken me to the core. I consider D my 2nd
stalker bc my 1st stalker M ask him to do it. I believe that M told
DM that I was out to hurt him and maybe even kill him. This is y DM keep an eye
on me. I had no legal prove of this.
I
don’t experience my 3rd and 4th stalker until I start
working the hotel.
Stalking
is a really bad experience especially with more one person over many years. I
have feared for my life once than once. During this time is when my drinking
and eating disorders were at its worst. I felt it the only thing I had control
over since my sense of safety was gone.
With
God help and some gal friends help through me this. The last few yrs have been
good. I do look over my shoulders and I’m very aware of my surrounding.
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
2016 A JOURNEY OF SELF DISCOVER HAS BEGIN.
This past month has been hard for me.
Three close friends that I have known for over 10 years. When they needed me I have
been there without question. But I needed them they have led me down again. I
love them like family. After them giving many changes to chance but they didn’t.
Ending long term friendship is like ending a long term relationship. It can be
long emotional and physical draining.
During this time I have finiad
problems so I’m trying to find a second job. I had a local coffee I love to go
too. I work there two months but I had to leave. Now I’m looking for second job
which hard without people out of work.
I decided to have long distance Christian
relationship with someone I fall in with. I was happy until prank by a family
ended with us. It’s a lot he said she said and no one taking responsibly. This
person is not soul mate. My heart broken and it will time heal.
One person I thought was closed friend
I told them about what going in my life. They could have care less. This person doesn’t know how I feel. If I tried
to talk they don’t want to hear. I will ending this friendship soon when it
time is right I will have to take it slow and then pull ghost act. I seriously doubt
this person care or even notice bc I just joke to them.
I have self discovery this past
month. By taking a good look at myself I saw things I didn’t like what I saw. I have keeping friendship that has been one
side. It has been a roller coaster of emotions inside me.
With God help I have seen what life
can be like without certain people I can see peace. I really for a new chapter
in my life which is about me.
Sunday, September 27, 2015
TIME TO FIND PEACE.
Two
days ago was my 38th bday where has the yrs gone. 20 yrs ago I was 18yr old
junior high school with a different outlook on how my life would like look now.
I realized talking to my two closed friend who have known for yrs. That are
many things in my past that I haven’t got over it. It has effect me by
darkening my soul. With God help and Love I realize I can’t change the past,
can’t let it affect my future happiness and peace, accept it, deal it, and get
over it.
Only
two of best friends who I consider FAMILY knew this about me. CONFESSION IS
GOOD FOR SOUL. IDK care who knows it. THE DEVIL CAN’T HAVE POWER OVER ME AND
CONTROL ME WITH IT.
1) From
high school to my early 30s. I suffered from really bad eating disorder called
Bulimia. It would on when things got really got bad. The pressure from college, three bad
relationships, car accidents (the one that nearly killed me), three bad
stalking problems, my 1st haunting experience, and pregnancy scare
cause me some really BAD pain.
2)
From
high school and until recently, I have a drinking problem. I would able stop
period of time when my life was calm and peaceful. I know it’s no excuse. It
got bad when relationship ended and turned into my 1st experience
stalking experience. I still don’t know I manage to graduate from ULL the 1st
in December 2004.
3)
When
the relationship with Josh ended in April 2001 I suffered an emotional
breakdown. I really don’t how I passed that semester at UL and even summer
school. I shutdown completely. It was my
1st car accident that nearly killed me in July 2001 that snapped me
out it. I realize I was still alive but not living my life at the time. I was
in GREAT PAIN physically but my heart and mind had shut off emotional pain.
4)
When
I was younger I tried to commit suicide. When I got older I had suicidal
thought when my two relationships turned badly and one turned into stalking
problems.
5)
I
am afraid to touch any man including the men I loved with in sexually physical
in any way unless I have been drinking a lot. I told them it was of my weight
problem and I didn’t like way my body was. It’s not true. When I was a teenage
a close friend was rape badly. I believe they blame themselves. I was there
with them though the whole thing and help them. It’s had a bad effect on me and
every relationship I had on a sexual level.
6)
In
the three relationships with the guys I was in love them. I wouldn’t let them
touch me not even for a hug for months. One told if he tried to touch, shake,
or even hug me I would jump out of skin like I was scared he would hurt me. He
realized I didn’t it without knowing it. I would let close guy friends hug me
without jumping. It was only if I was in relationship them. When I was teenager
a close friend was in abusive relationship that lasted for yrs. I’d witnessed
the hitting and fighting. I tried to
help them to get out for a long time with no results. They did love each other.
This affected for years to come.
Saturday, May 9, 2015
Dream Vision Quest of Past Loves to My Soul Mate
lately I have question if I really have soul mate that
God has chosen for me. I have to pray to God to keep safe until we are to meet.
I still had baggage from my past relationships from guys I have truly love or
meant something to me.
Tonight I had a Dream vision quest where I travel
back in time to relook at past loves and guys that meant something to me somehow.
I didn’t realize that I had things that happen that I really didn’t get over.
In this dream quest I walk through the past seeing
this guys in the distance where we first meet. I was narrating to myself
through this whole progress like in the third person. I would be standing in
the distance watching it unfold.
I was reliving things that I had forgotten by my
subconscious didn’t. Things that I happen
with these past love the affected me more than I’d realized. Once these painful
truths can to light, I accepted them.
Once I did, I got over them. I felt this true peace
come over that I haven’t felt in a long time. I also told a guy that is all
wrong for me that I had feeling for him. In this dream quest that feeling I have
for a certain guy is just a crush and I need to kick him out of life for good.
I was
surprised that two certain guys weren’t in my dreams but they didn’t a mean a
thing to me. The guy I lost my virginity at very long age which I regret. The
guy that drove me crazy and turned into my stalker for months for also 10 years
ago, I realized I’d never love these guys. They were really big mistake in my
life that I have got over completely already.
Every guy I truly loved wasn’t the LOVE of my life. They
had a trait that I really like that my soul male has. This dream quest helps me get over past hurts.
It showed me what I have to look forward to when God finally lets me meet my soul
mate.
I know it be I love that I never experience before
and it’s worth waiting for. The love I have God and his son Jesus Christ is
great itself. Until then I will live my life with God Help. I focus on school,
writing my books, getting healthy but losing weight, getting a new job, and
living my life.
For the 1st time in a long time I have
found peace in my heart and mind. Happiness is real and now I know it is. My
life is in God hands. My journey has just began and I cant for it. It also help to release all the pain i had in my life. The anger i had that made me A BITCH is not there anymore. I had anger within me so great that I would threaten to kill someone i would mean it.
I find the inner peace u get when completely give your life to GOD. I cant say Im not anymore bc it a trait i got from my mom. I believe i have completely change. My closest friends may disagree with me. I may have them wrong. LOL. I love to say Im a new person. I just have to show. They not believe me at first. In time they will c it. :)
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
BAD THINGS LED TO GOOD OUTCOMES.
In the last few months I have change jobs. At my old job one of the
managers had told me I was faking being stupid. I have been in the pizza
industry for over three years and you have been in three months. I’m not sorry
that I know more than you and can’t be manager because of my right wrist. The
woman that trained me was a good boss and trained me well. Of course he didn’t
like that. Before I didn’t I did anything that would put me in jail and walk
away without notice. Thanks to a guy friend help me get another job which he ends up leaving months later.
Best part
Karma is a BITCH. This manager that told I was faking being stupid ending up
for the same woman that he said didn’t train me well. I know she had heard that
reason I left. He works another now.
My right
is totally messed up from slapping out pizza down and carrying heavy pizza down
the wrong way. I have stage three carpal tunnel syndromes. Its require
operation which I don’t have the money right now. I have to wear a hand brace
when I work.
Then my
left angle Plantar Fasciitis
which I can’t ever get it. to
stand for hours at work i have special made
Shoes with in shoe inserts that that help
ease the pain along with two braces.
Now I also have to wear a brace on my right
ankle to help not to put too much
Pressure on it. I have to take many over counter
pain meds just to deal with the pain
Of my weight doesn’t help anyway. I will stop
drinking soda, eating healthy, and going to the gym.
Everything
was ok at this job. Until recently allot has happen. The guy I love very much
but can’t be with left to go somewhere. I keep messing up at work a lot that I
thought I was going to lose my job to the new boss because of stupid thing I
was doing and l knew better. I’m getting better by watching what I’m
doing.
Then
there a someone claimed harassment that cause lot problems which I was middle
of it. I ask to switch locations and was denied. This made me really angry and
this person become died to me. A ghost that haunted the workplace. When I didn’t
talk to this person they would get mad.
Then
something else happen. Someone at work approach me about having sex with them.
I was tempted to take them up on it. I went through this before. I will not
again. After all the problems with similar situation as before. I choose not to
say anything BC I don’t want to get this person in trouble. It my personal
choice. I’m looking for new job. With all the bull shit I’m at point I don’t
care anymore and IM DONE.
I also end a relationship that i had high hopes for. It didnt work work out the way i wanted.
I also end a relationship that i had high hopes for. It didnt work work out the way i wanted.
I also
have been questioning some long term friendships that I believe that I have
turned toxic. I thought they were my bffs for life. Because of certain things
that in my life they have shown their certain colors.
One guy
friend who view on the world as completely insane. He needs to help and get a
life. Sometimes I don’t tell him certain things by I don’t won’t hear his
bullshit.
One friend
who need get life of their own. I don’t tell them certain things idk y. They
need to start living their live first before getting one
Another
guy friend hasn’t been there and given advice I thought that I needed to hear. It’s
all about him.
TIME TO
RID OF SOME TOXIC PEOPLE. WON’T BE EASY. TIME TO BEGIN:
I also did alot drinking and even smoking again. I did some things that Im not proud at put me at risk. I even i scared of my life. Everything is good. This made me realize how that life is precious. I have a BFF that has been in my shoes. She is now my voice reason and holding my accountable for my actions. I thank god for her every day.
I also did alot drinking and even smoking again. I did some things that Im not proud at put me at risk. I even i scared of my life. Everything is good. This made me realize how that life is precious. I have a BFF that has been in my shoes. She is now my voice reason and holding my accountable for my actions. I thank god for her every day.
I’m know I’m
BITCH SELF CENTERED SPOILED PRINCESS (MY PARENTS FAULT LOL). It’s all about ME. This year has been hard.
I’m
thankful for my freedom, health, family, and friends. I recently got close to
God again.
I’m
currently getting my masters and PhD. I’m also will be finishing my two books
which I hope in print within a year. I will become more involve paranormal too.
Maybe even find the soul mate that god had chosen for me. Until then I will
focus on me. When I do find him I would like Dugger style courtship.
I have
been doing a lot of praying lately which has been helping. Things are good
right now. I really do love my life. :)
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