PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW.

A guy named K has been my close friend for over 10 years. How I meet him was a funny story. In the 2004 in ULL newspaper K posted ad to meet some single women for friendship. I had lost a bet with one of friends a call him. We meet somewhere on campus and talk. From what I remember is a long talk. Over the last few years we meet up when we had time. In the last few weeks he becomes love obsessed with me. It was my close friend in CA that pointed this out to. K is over 40 yrs with high intelligent that dealing with a bipolar who is still a virgin. I never saw him more than a friend. He became clingier after the death of his father. He was also doing this another woman. Who I become friends with bc of him. I have blocked him from my life. I wish him the best and hope he finally happiness he seeks. But not from me. I thank him for being there for me though some of darkest moments in life. But when he becomes one of them. When I had say good bye,

One night either in 2003 or 2004 after a hard day at ULL and work I was chilling at my fav place Mels when I met. I think meet him BC I sat down at the booth and he was sitting there already or I was IDK. D and I started talking right away. We become fast friends. Over the nx few yrs we become best friends. Something in our friendship change. IDK at 1^st.  In the last three yrs our friendship came completely different. It was pointed it out to me. When I needed a job not once twice D was there for me. Vice versus. IDk if I was the one who change or he did. IDK really.  I missed what we had. I feel he treated me like shit and was cruel to me sometime. maybe i should have talk D about how i felt. But I didnt. IDK y. 
I have change this summer when I gave my life to God. I’m not the same. We grow in different paths. We both change. Maybe I should have told this him this. I didn’t which are my bad. After sometime not talking to D I follow my Ex advise. It blows up in my face. Then I realize it was truly over. I have change and so has he. I wish D the best. I hope he fined the happiness, love, success, and peace he deserves. I wish him no ill will.

Ppl change and grow apart. How we handle it that makes a difference? We face it head on. R pull like i ghost act like i did. That might have not been the right decision. at the time i thought is was. They both deserve me to tell them in person how i felt. I was told to do by some close friend. I figured it would be wasted of time and pointless. D told me THIS but I didnt want to hear it. 

Right now two another close friendship are on thin ice. I hope to handle this better. Right now im praying on.

to D and K

IM SORRY HOW I HANDLE THIS SITUATION. I SHOULD HAVE TALK TO U AND NOT PULLED AN GHOST ACT. THANKS FOR BEING IN MY LIFE AND HAVING MY BACK WHEN I NEEDED YOU. YOU DESERVE ME TALK U IN PERSON THAT OUR FREINDSHIP CAME TO END AND WE ARE DIFFERENT PATHS. I WISH U GUYS THE BEST IN LIVE. MAY GOD BLESS U BOTH AND FAMILIES.  

PEACE LOVE AND ROCKETS

Seen My 2nd STALKER on the 1st day at a new job.

I had my first day at JCPennys as a cashier. It was long day of training. During this time I run in a my ex creepy stalker neighbor (call him DM)who watched me for two years bc of my 1^st stalker my ex live in boyfriend (call me M). After I prove my ex bf was stalking me for six months and detailing on online. I took legal action. Just before M was kicking out my apt by me that is when DM moved into the apt on top across the yard.

DM was creepy from the beginning. Since DM was the only guy living in my apt area M and DM become friends. When M was kick out and after he was caught stalking this is when I believe that M ask DM to keep eye on me and recorded that details. This went on for two yrs until I moved out.

A couple years later I try to move in same apt building. The person that was living in old apt was legal problems was about to kick out. I signed a lease for sex months. My old landlord tells me to stay away DM BC of certain thing. She had discovered that DM has keep detail records on for me for 2yrs and the girls living there at the time. I believe he did this to cover that he was doing for M.

I was anger that my old landlord tells me this after I signed the lease. She wasn’t concerned about my safety after everything that happen with M. luckily the person living in the apt with legal problems was able to pay the rent he owed. He was a legal right to stay in the apt. Since they didn’t have any apt to rent to me my lease was void.

These happen 10 years ago. But it has shaken me to the core. I consider D my 2^nd stalker bc my 1^st stalker M ask him to do it. I believe that M told DM that I was out to hurt him and maybe even kill him. This is y DM keep an eye on me. I had no legal prove of this.

I don’t experience my 3^rd and 4^th stalker until I start working the hotel.

Stalking is a really bad experience especially with more one person over many years. I have feared for my life once than once. During this time is when my drinking and eating disorders were at its worst. I felt it the only thing I had control over since my sense of safety was gone.

With God help and some gal friends help through me this. The last few yrs have been good. I do look over my shoulders and I’m very aware of my surrounding. 

2016 A JOURNEY OF SELF DISCOVER HAS BEGIN.

This past month has been hard for me. Three close friends that I have known for over 10 years. When they needed me I have been there without question. But I needed them they have led me down again. I love them like family. After them giving many changes to chance but they didn’t. Ending long term friendship is like ending a long term relationship. It can be long emotional and physical draining.

During this time I have finiad problems so I’m trying to find a second job. I had a local coffee I love to go too. I work there two months but I had to leave. Now I’m looking for second job which hard without people out of work.

I decided to have long distance Christian relationship with someone I fall in with. I was happy until prank by a family ended with us. It’s a lot he said she said and no one taking responsibly. This person is not soul mate. My heart broken and it will time heal.

One person I thought was closed friend I told them about what going in my life. They could have care less.  This person doesn’t know how I feel. If I tried to talk they don’t want to hear. I will ending this friendship soon when it time is right I will have to take it slow and then pull ghost act. I seriously doubt this person care or even notice bc I just joke to them.

I have self discovery this past month. By taking a good look at myself I saw things I didn’t like what I saw.  I have keeping friendship that has been one side. It has been a roller coaster of emotions inside me.

With God help I have seen what life can be like without certain people I can see peace. I really for a new chapter in my life which is about me.