lately I have question if I really have soul mate that
God has chosen for me. I have to pray to God to keep safe until we are to meet.
I still had baggage from my past relationships from guys I have truly love or
meant something to me.
Tonight I had a Dream vision quest where I travel
back in time to relook at past loves and guys that meant something to me somehow.
I didn’t realize that I had things that happen that I really didn’t get over.
In this dream quest I walk through the past seeing
this guys in the distance where we first meet. I was narrating to myself
through this whole progress like in the third person. I would be standing in
the distance watching it unfold.
I was reliving things that I had forgotten by my
subconscious didn’t. Things that I happen
with these past love the affected me more than I’d realized. Once these painful
truths can to light, I accepted them.
Once I did, I got over them. I felt this true peace
come over that I haven’t felt in a long time. I also told a guy that is all
wrong for me that I had feeling for him. In this dream quest that feeling I have
for a certain guy is just a crush and I need to kick him out of life for good.
I was
surprised that two certain guys weren’t in my dreams but they didn’t a mean a
thing to me. The guy I lost my virginity at very long age which I regret. The
guy that drove me crazy and turned into my stalker for months for also 10 years
ago, I realized I’d never love these guys. They were really big mistake in my
life that I have got over completely already.
Every guy I truly loved wasn’t the LOVE of my life. They
had a trait that I really like that my soul male has. This dream quest helps me get over past hurts.
It showed me what I have to look forward to when God finally lets me meet my soul
mate.
I know it be I love that I never experience before
and it’s worth waiting for. The love I have God and his son Jesus Christ is
great itself. Until then I will live my life with God Help. I focus on school,
writing my books, getting healthy but losing weight, getting a new job, and
living my life.
For the 1st time in a long time I have
found peace in my heart and mind. Happiness is real and now I know it is. My
life is in God hands. My journey has just began and I cant for it. It also help to release all the pain i had in my life. The anger i had that made me A BITCH is not there anymore. I had anger within me so great that I would threaten to kill someone i would mean it.
I find the inner peace u get when completely give your life to GOD. I cant say Im not anymore bc it a trait i got from my mom. I believe i have completely change. My closest friends may disagree with me. I may have them wrong. LOL. I love to say Im a new person. I just have to show. They not believe me at first. In time they will c it. :)
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